"I'd like a panic attack with that please?" Said NOONE ever!!

 I have battled anxiety for years, especially panic attacks. For whatever reason, in my mind I've got things under control, but my body sends a completely different message! My chest will begin to feel tight, I feel a sudden urge to cry, and then I make matters worse by trying to analyze the situation. There have been seasons of my life where it makes perfect sense that I'd have anxiety (incase you are just tuning in, I've mentioned my divorces, 2 autistic boys, 2 teens, being a single mom, etc). However, there are other times when there appears to be no rhyme or reason to why I'm having a panic attack. Honestly, I'm not sure which situation is worse? Knowing it's just a season I'm in and it comes with the territory, or being clueless as to where I'm missing the connection. 

If you've ever had a panic attack (kind of like if you've ever had a migraine, which unfortunately I get also) you know what I'm talking about. And like migraines, unless you've had one it's hard to relate. To outsiders it can look as though you are making a big deal out of nothing. But to someone who knows your pain, they can genuinely sympathize, which is comforting. *note: this does not at all really help the panic attack or migraine to go away, but when you are not in the midst of one it helps to know you have support in others who understand.

What does seem to help (for me personally) is to be distracted, which usually requires the help of someone you can count on and trust. Incase it is not obvious, when you are in the middle of a panic attack, analyzing, crying, and freaking out (for lack of better words) it's not likely you can distract yourself. For me, my wonderful daughter is great at seeing the warning signs and she steps right in and gets me involved in, or talking about, something else. (She also gently reminds me to take my medicine!)

I also have some great friends that I can call, who do their best to help me over the phone. However, sometimes my daughter is at school and my friends have their own lives they are dealing with when I'm having "an episode." This has been where my faith has really helped me in recent months. The Bible says:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)

“Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap. (Luke 21:34 NIV)

I feel God has really opened my eyes in seeing just how little faith I truly have compared to what I thought I had! Why would I not cast my anxiety on him? Why would that not be my first response?! Just how much do I really trust the Lord? He's my father, my creator, my redeemer, and so much more... I know that HE makes things good and to no surprise, he can take away my anxiety! Like really give me peace! When I have those moments in his presence and all fear and anxiety is gone, I just smile and shake my head saying "I'm so sorry Father! Please forgive me!" I have to ask myself, why I continue to selfishly try to solve and control things on my own? His grace is sufficient! And just like with panic attacks, migraines, and most difficult circumstances... Unless you've experienced God's grace, love, and peace, you just wouldn't understand! 

Almighty Lord, I thank you for your grace, power, strength, and love! I thank you for making it available to each and every one of us! I thank you for your many blessings and your promise to never leave or forsake us! In everything I say and do, I pray that it brings glory to you!

Amen