Don't talk about it, BE about it!

 Not sure where that phrase originated... I stopped to "google it," but then I realized this would cause me to get sidetracked. I'd either wind up totally off topic, or not come back to finish this post. Anyway... This phrase was on repeat in my head today. I'd been reading and finally completed the book, AHA by Kyle Idelman. It talks about the process of having an Awakening, being brutally Honest with yourself, and doing something about it (immediate Action.) For weeks, or maybe even months now, I've been really struggling with wanting to recognize what things I need to change. I feel silly even writing this. In no way have I felt like I have things all together or figured out; please don't misunderstand me. I've just genuinely been trying so hard to work on myself, seek God, and find answers. It's become an obsession at times. I will journal, ramble to friends, Google questions, listen to sermons, search the Bible, search the Bible Apps, ask my therapist, and the list goes on. 

By no means do I think I found my BIG answer today, but I do feel like I realized that I need to tune in to my reality more. Open my eyes to what's around me, what's really going on in my life, and see things for what they are. I can tell you what kind of person I want to be, what legacy I want to leave, and all of the things I aspire to accomplish... But that's where it stops.. And that's when it hit me.. When am I going to stop talking about it and just do it?! What would that look like? Immediately I knew that'd mean putting down my phone, removing all distractions, and facing my here and now. I want my story to be like that of the prodigal son.. I want it to be said "so she got up..."

My brutal honesty today was that I don't like to face my reality sometimes because it's hard work. It's easier to be talking about my goals, hopes, or dreams; even while I maintain things by doing the bare minimum. What's hard is just doing something about it. I will never have it all figured out, but God does! I need to trust him with the unknown and feel confident in His strength, His plans, His grace, His love. I don't want to waste any more time by just talking about it. So here I go...