Do people still say "... not!"?? As a mom of a couple teenagers, they don't think anything I say or do is "cool," regardless of how I say or do it. Oh, but do I looovvee to say things like "cray cray" or "eyebrows on fleek" (I'm still not sure I totally get that one, but it's kind of funny to say). When I asked their opinion on what to title this blog, my daughter said "I guess that's fine, but don't like post or share it anywhere for people to read!" Thanks kids!!
Anyway, today was definitely not like any other day... For starters, I was running late this morning (ok, anyone who knows me, knows that part isn't completely abnormal) but I probably used more than the recommended amount of dry shampoo, washed my face in the sink, and threw something on with a little bit of make up. I was meeting my sister so that we could ride together to check out a new church in our county. My sister and I grew up attending a small church. We went every Wednesday night, Sunday morning and Sunday night. We also went for revivals, VBS, special singing nights, etc. You get the point... But right now my sister doesn't really go to church on a regular basis. She's said she would like to find a church closer to her home to get involved in. So when I had a random encounter with a local plumber who invited me to check out the church he attends, I immediately thought of my sister. When I later found out through my hairdresser that she would also be going to the same church today because they had a special speaker coming, I knew I had to share this with my sister. And, she said she'd go! Praise God!!
I am a member at a different church and it's not like me to miss a service there anymore, that's just one of my "non-negotiables" right now. However, I was excited about going today. And I am so glad that I did! God is so good! The church was small and I found myself making comparisons without even realizing it at first, but once they opened in prayer I felt the Holy Spirit. I notice lately that when I feel His presence, I immediately smile. In a sort of "I know, you are still here! Silly me! Please forgive me for not focusing on you!" way. I feel like it's kind of an inside joke I have with My God. I definitely feel him nudge me when I need it!
So during the service I heard a message that I know I needed to hear. I knew I was right where God wanted me and without getting into the specifics (I'll save it for another post) it really spoke to me. I grew up understanding that God sent his son to die for my sins, and that if I asked him to come into my life, I would be saved. And well, that was kind of it... I knew several times I messed up because I tried for years to "be/do good enough" because I was a christian. But time after time, I would fail! (Of course I would, right?!?) But I didn't know then what I know now.. and to be honest I am still learning and trying to wrap my head around how awesome God is!! He is true, he is faithful, and he never fails! I know now that I will never "be/do good enough" and as I continue this journey to seek God, draw closer to him, I want to share what he is doing and revealing in me. I feel nudged to blog about it and so, I'm going to be obedient!
As my title may suggest, today was full of unexpected emotions. I cried, was on my knees, and felt a lot on my heart today. I also had an incident with my 9 year old who has autism & adhd. He actually found some matches and set some boxes on fire at his dad's house. It was scary and overwhelming to hear and deal with. (Again, I'll save for another post)
But to wrap up, and formally introduce myself, my name is Renee'. I have 4 children, ages 16, 15 (on 2/14), 9, and 7. I have been through a lot, like marriage & having kids at a young age, being on my own, divorce, having 2 children with autism, growing in my faith, lapband surgery, weight loss, being a single mom again & again, failed relationships & some successful ones ;) I'll always be a work in progress! But if the Lord willing, may I share with you some things that I have learned a long the way so that you may be blessed!
May all that I say and do be pleasing to you, Lord.
Renee'
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